Sonic's Unanswered Questions
by Sonic The Alchemist
Summary: Ever wonder about things about Sonic that you can't explain? Like, How does Sonic use the bathroom? Why does Shadow have a gun in his game? Why is Rouge sexy? These questions and more will be answered here! Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Here is an interesting story about the history of Sonic. Unanswered questions! Here is the first chapter! Please R&R! No flames!

Chapter 1

Questions 1-10

The whole gang of Sonic the hedgehog was in a big room sitting in director's chairs. There was Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Rouge, Shadow, Dr. Eggman, E-102, Cream, Vector, Charmy, Espio, Mighty, Metal Sonic and Tikal. They were all there for one purpose: Answer all the questions in Documentary form that Sega doesn't have time to answer!

"Hi There. I'm Sonic, but you've probably figured that out by now." The blue blur said.

"Enough with the small talk! We have questions to answer!" Knuckles yelled.

"You're right!" Sonic yelled back.

"Question #1: Why does Shadow have a gun in his new game?" E-102 asked in his normal robot-like voice.

"The developers wanted me to be more menacing and more dangerous. So, they gave me a gun!" Shadow replied.

"Question #2: Why does Shadow even have his own game? What happened to Sonic being the star of the show?"

"Hey! I had my own game!" Knuckles replied. "Remember? Knuckles Chaotix?"

"I had my own games too!" Tails whined. "Tails adventures, Tails and the music maker, Tails sky patrol..."

"Those games sucked." Metal Sonic replied sounding annoyed.

"Sega just wanted another spin-off." Shadow answered calmly.

"Question #3: Why is Rouge the only character whose attire is...well...revealing?"

"My clothes are not revealing! Sega just wanted me to be more attractive." Rouge answered.

"Are you kidding? In Sonic Heroes, you looked like a hooker!" Sonic replied to the theiving bat.

"That's why she was on _my _team!" Shadow answered to Sonic. Shadow then looked at Rouge and then winked. Rouge started to blush. "Which reminds me, Rouge, I'm still welcome to Club Rouge, aren't I?"

"Why of course, Shadow. In fact, why don't you come over tonight?" Rouge asked Shadow. Shadow knew what she was talking about.

"Question #4: How come Amy, Rouge, Cream and Tikal have to wear clothes when Sonic and the other boys don't have to?"

"Because if the girls didn't, all our games would be rated M for Mature." Espio answered calmly while cleaning one of his stars.

"Question #5: How do Sonic and the other boys use the bathroom?"

There was nothing but silence for a few seconds until Shadow answered the question. "Ask Sega. We don't Know."

"So no matter how much pop we drink, we still can't use the bathroom?" Charmy asked.

"I guess." Shadow asked.

"SWEET! I'm going home to drink soda till I puke!" Charmy screamed as he left the room and went towards the Chaotix Detective Agency's soda machine until Mighty, Vector and Espio chased after them.

"Question #6: Why are there so many websites dedicated to Sonic?"

"Cause I'm waaaaaaaaaay past cool!" Sonic said in his glory.

"Please. You're as cool as the sun." Metal Sonic said in annoyance.

"Remember the end of the Sonic movie? Next time, I'm gonna let you die in the lava!" Sonic yelled at Metal.

"Question #7: Why doesn't Amy just go after someone else? Why can't she hook up with Knuckles or Shadow or somebody like that?"

"I don't know that one. I'll probably answer that one in the next chapter." Amy replied.

"Question #8: What's the point of Knuckles being guardian of the Master Emerald? Why does he keep leaving it?"

"Sega won't let me guard it! They always make me leave for some random reason!" Knuckles said in anger.

"Question #9: Which do you think is better? The PSP or the DS?"

"What?" Sonic asked in confusion.

"Final question, at least for this chapter: Question #10: Why is Gamma here? Didn't he die in Sonic Adventure?" Dr. Eggman asked.

"Good point Dr. Robotnik. Initiating Self-Destruct sequence." Two seconds later, E-102 Gamma exploded.

"Well, looks like we'll have to find another robot. Until then, We're questionless." Shadow said to Gamma's explosion.

"Bye!" Cream said and Tikal said. (They haven't said a word this whole chapter! )

So, what did you think? I'll update as soon as I can! Probably next week! Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, peoplez! I'm sorry for the wait. I was on vacation! Anyway, Here's Chapter 2 of Sonic's Unanswered Questions! Please R&R! No flames will be tolerated! I know the military!

Chapter 2

Questions 11-20

About 20 minutes had passed when the Sonic crew found another robot to ask the questions. It was E-123 Omega.

"Okay...So, we're back with more questions and a lot more thinking!" Sonic said with excitement.

"Questions, yay! Thinking, Boo! I thought for about 10 seconds once, and I passed out for 2 days." Knuckles said in an uninterested mood.

"Question #11: Why did Sonic become Chris's friend in Sonic X?" Omega asked.

"I don't know. Sega probably put me under a mass hypnosis." Sonic answered.

"I was under hypnosis once." Knuckles said. "I'm not sure if it worked but every Friday night, I had an uncontrolable urge to squirt whipped cream under my armpits and act like Spongebob Squarepants while watching Whose Line Is It Anyway?." Metal Sonic, who was sitting right next to Knuckles, scooted his chair away from Knuckles in pure terror.

"Question #12: Why am I asking the questions? How come Metal Sonic isn't asking them?"

"Because I don't feel like it. Kapesh?" Metal Sonic said in annoyance.

"Question #13: Why did Sega create Big?"

"I know this one. Sega was either drunk or they were bored out of their minds." Tails answered.

"Question #14: What exactly do Chaos and Tikal do inside the Master Emerald?"

"We...talk." Tikal answered in embarassment.

"Don't worry folks. We'll get more answers from her in the next chapter." Shadow replied to the audience.

"Question #15: Did anyone like that Star Wars Episode III movie?"

"Yes! I loved it! Padame was hot! Smokin' Hot!" Tails answered.

"Gotcha." Omega said as he fooled the two-tailed fox. Tails then turned as red as Knuckles from embarassment as everyone stared at him.

"Question #16: How come nobody can use their moves from Sonic Battle anymore?"

"I think we still can, we just haven't tried yet." Sonic answered.

"Question #17: Why does Rouge work for the government? What does it pay?"

"It must pay good to work for George W!" Sonic joked.

"Shut it! He pays me either money or jewels. Which ever I feel like wanting." Rouge said with pride.

"Question #18: Why did Sonic and Rouge flirt with each other in Sonic Battle?" Rouge and Sonic then looked at each other and then Sonic came with the answer.

"It was probably another case of hypnosis." Sonic answered, unsure that he was right.

"Face it, Sonic. You love me, but you're not my type." Rouge said to Sonic in a flirty voice. Sonic's face then turned bright red and lowered his face while mumbling to himself.

"Question #19: What does Knuckles do when he is guarding the Master Emerald?"

"I talk to it." Knuckles said proudly while everyone stared at him.

"And Question #20: How come Mighty wasn't in Sonic Heroes?"

"Stupid developers just wanted 3 freakin' members in each team!" Mighty growled with rage.

"Well, that does it for this chapter. Catch ya' soon, people!" Sonic said to the audience.

Well, this is Chapter 2! I'm truly sorry for the wait. Please Review!


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the extreme long wait people! I've been really lazy and I couldn't think of any more questions for a while. So here's Sonic and crew again!

Chapter 3

Questions 21-30

"We're back after 1 month of thinking!" said Sonic.

"Ugh...Thinking..." Knuckles moaned to himself.

Omega started the questions again. "Question 21: Why are we even asking these questions?"

"Because the author is making us ask them. All right? Sheesh." Metal Sonic answered like he was annoyed.

"Question 22: Does it bother anyone that people have information on every single one of us on Sonic websites?"

"Sorta, but that's what makes us the Sonic team!" Tails cheered with joy. Shadow looked at Tails and said "You need help."

"Question 23: How come Sonic won't resort to using a weapon?"

"Because he's a sissy." Shadow replied.

"Oh I'm a sissy am I?" Sonic answered. Sonic instantly pulled out a lightsaber and turned it on. It was a blue lightsaber. "Who's got the force now?" Shadow also got out a lightsaber. It was red. "Now I am the master." Shadow said. Sonic replied "Well, this is the end for you, my master." The two hedgehogs started to duel with their lightsabers while Star Wars music came out from nowhere.

"Oh great. Another spin-off. That's it. I'm out of here." said Metal Sonic. Metal Sonic just walked off screen.

"Question 24: Where's Tikal?"

"She's with Knuckles for questioning."

&&&

Knuckles tied Tikal to a chair and held a lamp right in her face. "Where were you on the night of the April '53?"

&&&

"Question 25: What do you think will happen if the President gives Rouge his job for life?"

"America would be screwed." Amy answered

"Shut up, Amy!" Rouge yelled.

"Question 26: How come on the old Sonic games, Amy was slow, but on Sonic Heroes and Sonic advance 3 she's almost as fast as Sonic?"

"The developers thought I was too slow and gameplay with me was just too boring." Amy answered.

"Gameplay with you is _still_ boring." Rouge answered.

"That's it! You've done it now!" Amy yelled as she pulled out her hammer.

"Question 27: Why does Amy always use her wimpy hammer?"

"SHUT UP!" Amy wacked Omega with her hammer. Amy and Rouge then started fighting. "Oooh! I gotta get this on tape!" Tails got out a video camera and watched the two hot girls fight.

"Question 28: When will Knuckles be back?"

Knuckles walked on-screen. "I'm back." Knuckles saw Sonic and Shadow dueling, and Amy and Rouge fighting while Tails gets it on tape. "Question 29: Why is everyone fighting?"

"Simple biological life-forms...when will you learn?"

"Ugh...learning..." Knuckles groaned.

"And finally Question 30: Is Sonic unlockable on Super Smash Bros. Melee?"

"Nope. April fools joke."

"Ah."

"Well, see you in the next chapter!" Knuckles waved to the audience.

The next chapter might take a while to finish. Please R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

I got a lot more randomness for this chapter! Here's the next chapter! It's gonna be a bit short but I hope you guys like it!

Chapter 4

Questions 31-35

After everyone stopped fighting, Sonic got back to being the guide to the story. "Sorry for the delay folks. We got some more questions!"

"Question 31: Why are we even here? Who is making us answer these questions?"

All of the Sonic crew started murmering to each other trying to answer the question. Until...

"I can answer that."

From out of nowhere, a dark green hedgehog walked on stage. He had a light blue T-Shirt and blue jeans on. He also had blue sneakers.

"Question 32: Who are you?" Sonic asked.

The hedgie spoke. "I'm the author. And I'm making you ask and answer these questions."

"Yeah right! No one can tell me what to do!" Knuckles stated.

Rouge walked over to Knuckles and kissed him passionately and said to him "Want some more, Knuckles?"

Knuckles just chuckled like an idiot. The green hedgehog was impressed. "Not bad Rouge. Not bad at all. But I think I can do better. Knuckles!"

"What?"

"Kill yourself."

"Okay." Knuckles' fist started glowing and he punched his stomach with great force. Knuckles fell to the ground. He was dead. "Touche, Rouge. Beat that."

Sonic had seen enough. "All right pal! I don't know who you think you are!"

"Dogs don't know it's not bacon."

Using his Godly powers getting control over all the characters, Sonic replied to the slogan. "It's Bacon!"

"Now if you don't mind, can I ask you a few questions?"

"Fine." Sonic said with anger.

"All right. Question 33: is for Sonic. SONIC!"

The Hedgie's arm morphed into a cybernetic cannon which started glowing and he shoved it above Sonic's head. "Quickly, Sonic! The Ray-slash-Cannon of Doom-slash-shiny object-slash-Death ray is upon you! Tell me, Do you listen to Green Day?"

"Yeah. Green Day rules."

"LIER!" The almighty green hedgehog shot the cannon and Sonic was transformed into a girl hedgie. "Holy $#! I'm a girl!"

"That will teach you not to like Green Day!"

"Hey! That's not right!" Amy yelled.

"Shut it, Pinky!" He shot the cannon and Amy was a boy. She wore a pink T-Shirt and blue jeans.

"Oh my god! I'm a guy! This can't be happening!" Amy looked down her pants and she realized she had private parts. "Oh no! I have privates!"

"At least you have some. Now I have to sit down to use the bathroom!" Sonic cried in misery.

"Question 34: Where's Metal Sonic?"

"I'm here. I just went offscreen last chapter."

"Cool. Final question for this chapter anyway. Question 35: Did Tikal ever get untied?"

"No."

"Man, that's a shame. Well, see you folks in the next chapter! Oh, I almost forgot." He pointed his finger at Knuckles and he was alive again.

"I'm alive!"

"What about us?" Amy and Sonic yelled.

"What about you?"

"Aren't you going to turn us back to our original genders?"

"No. Not until the next chapter."

"Well that certainly sucks."

Knuckles looked at the new girl Sonic. "Hey Sonic, you're hot now!"

"Don't push it, Knuckles!"

"Good-Bye!"

I loved the randomness! Please Review and stay tuned for the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry I haven't updated this story! I've just been so busy with my other stories. I will be updating on this story more often. Espically after Christmas! And plus, I wanted to update when Shadow The Hedgehog came out. So, here's Chapter 5!

Chapter 5

Questions 36-40

The author hedgie, Girl Sonic and Guy Amy, and the rest of the Sonic crew were back. "We're back, and we waited for the release of Shadow The Hedgehog to update and ask more questions!" The author hedgie stated.

"And I'm still a girl!" Sonic yelled in misery.

"And I'm still a guy!" Amy yelled in misery.

"And I'm alive!" Knuckles stated in joy.

"Well, we may as well start asking questions again. Question 36: Shadow, what did it feel like to use weapons in your new game?" The author hedgehog asked.

"Well, I must say, It was pretty cool. Sega had the right idea for a game, for once."

"Question 37: Your game was pretty much Sonic meets Grand Theft Auto. You was able to hijack vehicles, use guns, kill soldiers, say swear words. What did it feel like to star in a more mature video game?"

"I loved it. The vehicles were awesome, the weapons rocked, the swearing was cool, and I gave those GUN soldiers a taste of their own medicine. The only thing missing was that Rouge and Amy weren't hookers! Hopefully, Sega can fix that problem."

"Question 38: What was with that lame villian Black Doom?"

Then Black Doom floated on stage. "I am not lame, you fool! I am the greatest and most powerful being in the universe! I am the bringer of judgement on all planets! When people hear of my name, they cower in fear!" He kept bragging about himself until Shadow couldn't take it anymore.

Shadow sighed and got out a bazooka. He shot it at Black Doom and he was sent flying off screen. "I don't know what Sega was thinking when they decided to put aliens in the game."

"Question 39: Why did Rouge go back into her old outfit in this game?"

"Um..." Rouge said very nervous.

"Uh...let's just say that she _used_ the new one _way _too much after Sonic Heroes, if you know what I mean."

Rouge then turned bright red.

"Question 40: How about we get everyone's opinion on their new voices in the game?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"I'm not sure what to think about my voice." Sonic said, still very anxious to be turned back into a guy.

"I still sound like a girl!" Tails screamed with anger.

"Well, I'm going to pretend that Yu-Gi-Oh! doesn't exist." Knuckles said very annoyed.

"I think my voice was somewhat of an improvement." said Amy.

"Well, as long as my voice is still sexy, I don't really care." Rouge said sounding very flirty.

"I can't really tell a difference in my voice." Said Omega.

"I think my voice didn't change that much." said Espio.

"They should have just stuck with my old voice. I sound even more goofy!" Vector said angry.

"I think my voice is awesome!" Charmy said very hyperactive-like.

"Well, I sound like a moron." Eggman stated.

"Ok, well, I guess that's all for this chapter."

"What about us?" Sonic and Amy yelled again.

"Ah, yes." The author then shot two lasers at Sonic and Amy.

"I'm a guy again!" Sonic stated with glee.

"I'm a girl again!" Amy stated with glee.

"Um, Sonic? Amy?"

"What?" They both asked in unison.

"Look at your skin color."

Sonic's skin was pink and Amy's was blue. They both screamed with terror.

"Darn it! I still can't get that trick right!" The author hedgie said with frustration. "Don't worry that's nothing some extreme hair dye won't fix."

"All right. See you next chapter!"

&&&

Don't worry people. I'll have more questions next chapter! Please review and stay tuned! I promise the next chapter will come quicker!


	6. Chapter 6

Well, promises were made to be broken! Or is that laws? I forget which. Here's Chapter 6!

Chapter 6

Questions 41-45

The whole Sonic crew was back on stage ripping to ask and answer more questions.

"Well, we're back!" Sonic exclaimed with joy as his skin was returned to blue and Amy's skin was returned to pink. "You're right Author hedgehog! That extreme hair dye really worked!"

"Enough chit-chat! Let's get to it! We have new characters to introduce!" Knuckles raged.

"Yes, this chapter, we bring to you the new characters from Sonic Riders and some old Sega classics." The author hedgie explained. "So, here's the lovely and sexy Rouge the bat to introduce them one by one!" Rouge came out behind a curtain wearing a long elegant black dress wearing shiny red lipstick and long mascara. Instant howling and whistling came out of nowhere.

"Um, where'd the audience come from?" Tails asked as an audience of Chao came out of nowhere.

"They came with the popcorn I ordered." said Espio.

"WOO! POPCORN!" Charmy squealed as he dived into a box filled with popcorn.

"Anyway, let's introduce the first newb!"

"Our first newbie is, Jet the Hawk!" Rouge said as the Chao cheered. "YOU'RE HOT!" One of the Chao yelled.

Jet walked on stage with his racing goggles waving at the crowd. "You may remember him better as Usapp from One Piece. Next is Wave the Swallow!" Wave walked on stage with her sunglasses blowing kisses to the crowd. "And last and least, Storm the Albatross!" Storm walked on stage with a bucket on his head.

"What are you doing with a bucket on your head?" Wave asked.

"Somebody told me there was a gateway to another dimension in here." he explained. Shadow shifted his eyes very suspiciously.

"Now, for the villain of the game!" said Rouge. Eggman stepped up. "Not you!" Eggman sat back down and sighed.

"So, introducing, the Babylonian God!" The mystical genie floated on stage. "Haha! I am the Babylonian God!"

"Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah, whaoh, whaoh, whoah...whoah, whoah...whoah...whoah." Tails whoahed.

Long silence.

"Babylonian God? That's offensive to other people's religions! Please call yourself the Babylonian mystical being of immense power but can easily be defeated by striking that lamp under you that floats above the ground very weirdly! If you don't mind."

"Um, okey-dokey. Haha! I am the Babylonian mystical being of immense power but can easily defe- wait! Easily defeated? What'u talkin' bout fool?"

"Would that count as Question 41?" The author asked.

"I guess so." said Sonic. "And I suppose that would count as Question 42."

"Crap."

Then, Black Doom came back on stage and confronted him. "Yes, you can be defeated easily!"

Black Doom and The Babylonian whatever got into a huge boss verb and muscle fight until Shadow yelled "THAT'S ENOUGH! CHAOS SPEAR! Black Doom was once again sent flying across the room and The Babylonian dude was sent spiraling back into his lamp.

"The tastes in bosses these days are getting really dull." said Shadow really annoyed.

Rouge and Amy came over to Shadow and rubbed his furry chest. "That was really sexy Shadow." said Rouge. "Wow, you're a really bad boy." said Amy and she then growled. Shadow's face turned bright red.

Sonic asked "Anyone else think this is **_WAY_** out of character?" Sonic, Knuckles, Tails and the author raised their hands.

"Anyway, let's introduce some of the unlockable characters in the game! NiGHTS from NiGHTS into Dreams!" said the Author hedgie. NiGHTS walked on to the stage waving at the crowd.

"And, AiAi from Super Monkey Ball!" The small monkey walked onto the stage.

"Finally, Ulala from Space Channel 5!" Ulala walked on stage doing a dance number.

"So, there you have it! All of the new characters of Sonic Riders that aren't robots!"

"Questions 43: Why aren't we talking about robots?" Sonic asked.

"All the robots these days are the same."

"Yeah..."

"Question 44: What exactly are rings made of?"

"Well...you know...yeah."

"Oh."

"And finally, Question 45: How come Sega bothered to put NiGHTS, Ulala and AiAi in the game, but they didn't think of putting Metal Sonic or Metal Knuckles in the game?"

"Because, Sega doesn't think. But kudos to them for not bringing back Tails Doll."

Sonic shrugged at the thought. "Good Lord, don't remind me of him."

"I hate that retched copy of me!" Tails screamed with anger.

Tails Doll came on stage. "Ah, come on! All I want is to be loved!" Everyone screamed as they ran off stage. "IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!" Tails Doll screamed.

Then, all of a sudden, Stewie Griffin ran on stage and shot Tails Doll down with two machine guns and a grenade launcher. As Tails Doll was blown up, Stewie yelled "YOU SUCK!".

&&&

Well, I had to add Stewie at one point or another! And if any of you guys are weirded out by any of the stuff I've typed down, just remember; the world is gonna end sometime. I gotta express this sooner or later. Why not now? Well, stay tuned for the next chapter and please review!


	7. Chapter 7

Wow! It's been 4 short months already? I'm sorry, but this chapter is gonna be a little short. The next one will be longer.Don't worry!Anyway, here's Chapter 7!

Chapter 7

Questions 46-55

Sonic and all the Sonic crew were sitting in their seats along with the author hedgie.

"We're back!" Sonic stated with happieness.

"The reason we've been gone so long is that we were on a long and dangerous mission. We searched far and wide, but we finally did it. We found all of the minor and scrapped characters of the Sonic Universe! And now, we must ask them questions!" said the author hedgie.

"And here they are!" Sonic announced as the characters started walking on stage.

The people who walked up were Fang the Sniper, Mighty The Armadillo, Ray The Flying Squirrel, Bean The Dynamite, Bark The Polar Bear, Big The Cat, and pretty much the Chaotix.

"Ok. You're all here. Why don't we get started?" said Sonic eager to start.

"Question 46: Fang The Sniper, exactly _why _are you called Fang The Sniper?" E-123 Omega asked.

"Um, well actually, I'm a weasel but..." said Fang confused.

"You're not a sniper are you? All you have are those cork guns! They don't even hurt! At least Shadow uses real guns! And what do you have? Lame cork guns! I'm just gonna go ahead and say it, YOU'RE LAME!" Tails screamed at Fang in an angry rage. Fang wimpered in fear of Tails. Everyone stared at Tails slightly disturbed.

"Heh, sorry about that. I'm kinda off edge today. I didn't eat breakfast. Heh." Tails said embarassed.

"Ok...anyway, onto the next character!" Sonic said.

"Question 47: Ray The Flying Squirrel, you are in no way related to Rocky the Flying Squirrel, are you?"

"No, of course not!" Ray snapped.

Knuckles got up in Ray's face. "Then that means you've had no past associations with Bullwinkle the moose, or deer or whatever he is?"

"Uh...no." Then, a cellphone rang. Ray answered it and he said "Oh, hi. Not now, Bullwinkle. I'm working."

"Question 48: Bean the Dynamite and Bark the Polar Bear, what was it like being in the first Sonic fighting game only to be forgotten in the ashes of arcade gaming?"

Bean and Bark stared at Omega, with their hearts shattered. "Please, don't remind us. Don't ever remind us..." Bark said as Bean started to cry. Bark held Bean as he was crying. "It's ok...it's ok..."

"Question 49: Big The Cat, what is your problem?"

"Um, I don't know what you mean." said Big.

"You're fat, you're stupid, and you always chase Froggy around! He can't even talk! How can you tell he misses you? Why do you insist on keeping him? You know, you could at least--I-I don't know. I'm just so mad." Shadow said screaming in Big's face.

"And finally, Question 50: The Chaotix, why did only Espio, Vector and Charmy surface from the cemetary of scrapped characters and not Mighty?"

"Because a team of 4 people nowadays isn't very appealing." said Vector.

"Well, that's all for this chapter!" said Sonic.

"Hey! What about us?" Amy asked as Rouge and Cream stood next to her.

"Yeah! We haven't appeared any in this chapter!" Rouge said in an angry tone.

"I haven't been asked a single question since the story has started!" said Cream as Cheese started to cry.

"Don't worry the next chapter will be all about you girls!" said the author hedgie.

"See you next chapter!"

&&&

Yeah! What they said!See you next chapter! Please review!


	8. Chapter 8

I'm gonna update more quickly now! And I'm gonna introduce some famaliar and some unfamaliar faces to this story...Here's Chapter 8!

Chapter 8

Questions 56-60

"We're back folks!" Sonic declared to the viewers (That's you guys reading! Thanks again!).

"Yes! We're back and better than ever! Now we have Kung-Fu grip!" said Knuckles as he clenched his fist over and over again. "See?"

"Yes...anyway, today we're gonna get in touch with our _feminine_ side. Yep, questions 56-60 are gonna be about the women and girls in the Sonic universe!" said the author hedgie.

"Oh yeah, last chapter, it was supposed to be questions 46-55. We only did questions 46-50. What happened to questions 51-55?" Tails asked.

"Well, questions 51-55 were on the uncut, uncensored version of this story and we don't have the kind of technology to show them to the viewers." said the author hedgie.

"That reminds me, how long are you gonna stay here, author hedgie?" Shadow asked.

"I dunna know. I'll go whenever. Maybe when the readers get sick of me, I'll go." said the author hedgie.

"Anyway, let's bring out our girls!" said Sonic.

Amy, Rouge, Cream, and Tikal walked forwards to the guys in a line. "Ok ladies, let's get started with the questions." said Sonic. Just then, the wall fell down and was shattered. That was when..._they_ came.

It was Sally and Mina.

"Sonic! What do you think you're doing?" Sally screamed at Sonic with rage.

"Uh, nothing! Heh heh." said Sonic in defense. He then scooted over to the author hedgie. "I thought you said she was trapped in the jungle!" Sonic whispered to the author hedgie.

"Hmm...they're smarter than I thought. Oh yeah! That reminds me!" said the author hedgie as he rose from his seat and walked towards a stage curtain. "I went to the trouble to go the faaaaaaar reaches of Sonic history and brought back a very loved character from the old Sonic kids cartoon. Let's see if you remember her...". The author hedgie pulled the curtain and behind it, was Breezie the robohedgie.

Sonic aroze from his seats as he hadn't seen Breezie for so long.

(Seriously, that show was made in 1991! Does anyone even remember it? I do! And for those of you who don't know Breezie the robohedgie, she was a hedgehog android with feelings created by Dr. Robotnik (AKA Eggman) in order to distract Sonic from another one of Robotnik's hairbrained schemes. She distracted him and was going to destroy him with this machine that would definitely have destroyed Sonic, but Sonic was infatuated with Breezie and wrote her a love poem. She was so touched by the poem, she saved Sonic from his iminate doom. She then disappeared but left Sonic and Tails with a love poem addressed to Sonic. Sonic never saw her after that...until now...)

"Yeah, you never were nice to me!" Tails yelled with anger at Breezie.

"I'm sorry Tails." said Breezie kindly.

"You know, that outfit is kinda...out dated. Get with the times!" said the author.

(For those of you who don't know what Breezie wears, Breezie wears a red dress, red high heels, red lipstick and she has long blue hair.)

"I know what to do." the author hedgie said. He took Breezie behind the curtain again. About 1 minute later, the author hedgie came back out. "Everybody, introducing...the new and improved Breezie!" Breezie stepped out and she was wearing new clothes. Her hair was flowing down in a curled fashion. She wore a light blue belly shirt with a short blue skirt. Sonic walked over to Breezie and took her hands.

"So faker, who's this? Your old girlfriend?" Shadow asked, teasing Sonic.

"Oh Sonic, it's been so long..." said Breezie happy to see Sonic. She then turned to Shadow. "Sonic, you didn't tell me you had a brother."

Shadow's eyes twitched as he stared at Breezie with anger filled eyes. "Yep. I'm gonna kill her. I'M GONNA KILL HER!" screamed Shadow as he attempted to charge towards Breezie before Knuckles and Omega held him back. "HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO THAT BLUE DEMON! I'M TOUGHER AND FASTER THAN HE IS!"

Then Rouge walked over to Shadow. "Not to mention sexier." She then took Shadow down and started kissing him and touching him.

"Question 56: Why has this happened to Shadow twice in the story so far?" the author asked.

"Because Shadow's sexy." said Amy as she attempted to join Shadow and Rouge, but Knuckles held Amy back. Amy then backed off and shifted her attention so Sonic again. "But then Sonic is hot too..."

"Easy, Seabiscuit!" Knuckles said having trouble keeping Amy back.

"Yes Sonic, who is this? I'm a bit curious about that myself." Sally asked angered as she cracked her fists.

"Sonic! I thought you loved me!" Amy and Mina said at the same time.

Now Sonic was in a 5 way love triangle. Sonic couldn't decide which one he loved the most. Amy, Mina, Sally, or Breezie. Sonic had to choose quickly.

"Haven't you noticed we haven't been asked a single question so far?" Knuckles asked.

"Yeah...anyway let's get started then. Ladies, Question 57: Would you ladies like to see which one of you truly belongs with Sonic?" the author hedgie asked.

All the Sonic-infatuated girls said "YES!"

"Then you must fight each other for him. You know, all four of you. Like, punch each other, slap each other, pull each other's hair...all that good stuff." said the author hedgie.

All four girls started fighting each other as everyone else watched. Sonic ran to the author hedgie and held him up by the shirt. "What do you think you're doing? I don't want them to fight over me!"

"Dude, I'm trying to buy you some time! You better get out of here before they realize you're not here!" said the author hedgie quietly.

"Hey...here's a thought...Question 58: Why do we wear gloves?" Tails asked.

"Hmm...I don't know." said Sonic.

"So, since Sally came, let's ask this question: Question 59: How come a lot of people don't like Sally?" asked the author hedgie.

"I guess it's because of her attitude in the comics." said Tails.

"That, and she and Sonic broke up 1 too many times in the comics to make it tolerable." said Knuckles.

"Now, since little Cream hasn't been asked a question yet, let's bring her up here." said the author hedgie.

"Hi." said Cream kindly.

"Ok Cream, here's your question: Question 60: Why were you called Cream in the first place? I mean, Cream isn't that good of a name."

"Well, when I was born, my mommy Vanilla didn't know what to name me. Then, one day at our house when I was a baby, I found a can of whipped cream and started spraying it everywhere. I guess that's when my mommy decided to call me Cream." Cream explained.

"Wow. I thought Sega just ran out of ideas for names. Kinda like how they did with Black Doom." said the author hedgie.

Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails were still watching the chick fight for Sonic. They examined every last detail of the fight. They then noticed something extraordinary.

"Oh my God! I just now realized why we wear gloves!" screamed Tails.

"What is it? I mean come on! Even I wear gloves and I'm not even a major character!" said the author hedgie.

"The reason we wear gloves is because Sally doesn't!" said Tails with the greatest of logic.

Everyone stood paralyzed for a second as they were astonished by the answer. "YES! It all makes perfect sense!" screamed Knuckles.

"Anyway, that's all for this chapter. But don't worry. We'll give you the results of the Sonic fight next chapter. Because it doesn't look like it's gonna end anytime soon. And, if anyone doesn't win, we'll give away Sonic to a very loyal viewer!"

"Wait a minute! Don't do that!" Sonic screamed at the author.

"Hey, I'm the author. It's my job to make you guys happy, and it's also my job to make you guys angry. Hmm...come to think of it, I don't get paid for this..."

"Anyway, see you folks next chapter!"

&&&

You heard the author man! If no one wins, I'll give away Sonic! Please review and stay tuned for the next chapter!


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